Gracious Uncertainty

If you think of about it, most of our worries are related to the future. We get anxious about what’s going to happen or if something we hope for will or will not happen. Even our thoughts and worries about what people think of us or how something is going to play out is related to uncertainty – we just don’t know.

We worry so much that we’ve made it okay to do so, it’s almost as if worry is and should be part of life because, who doesn’t worry?

But worry really reflects a larger issue and I love how Francis Chan defines it in Crazy Love:

WORRY implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.
STRESS says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control.

Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional.

If worry stems from a lack of trust, then trusting God would be the way to live worry-free. I can think of many instances where I start to worry and get worked up but almost immediately the Lord gently asks me “Do you trust Me?” I wish my answer was always yes but it hasn’t always been.

I’m in an interesting season of life right now where I honestly don’t know what my future holds. I’m in a season of waiting for God to reveal His specific will and purposes for me as I continue to pursue what He’s already given me and I love it. I’ve heard this so much especially since senior year in college, “what are you going to do after graduation?”. There are days I wish He would show me what lies ahead. There are moments I cry out to Him for an answer to pressing questions. But what I hear is, “Trust Me, my daughter, trust Me.” And I’ve learnt to appreciate it. If we knew exactly how things were going to unfold, if we knew exactly what the future holds, where we’ll be, what we’ll be doing, who we’ll be with, life wouldn’t be as exciting. No, seriously, think about it. What will be the point if everything came true exactly how we wanted it to be? It’s like knowing everything about a movie before watching it. We hate spoilers but apply it to real life and we are dying to know.

But I’ve been in this season before and I look back and see how it all turned out. Me being in Boston is a result of waiting, seeking, trusting and taking God at His word. I had my worries but He took care of them. I had my questions but He answered them. I had my needs and He met them. I have not gone to a place where He has not met me and He is here with me, still. He continues to teach me that, just as Corrie Ten Boom says, “I don’t need to know the way, I just need to trust my Guide.”

Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows (Hidden by United Pursuit)

Know His heart for you. And as you do, you will find that your worries will disappear. That as you bring your concerns to Him, He will be faithful to take it upon Himself, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Would you join me of appreciating the gracious uncertainty but one thing is certain: He is good and will never fail. May that be enough, always!


Good Good Father

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  –1 John 3:1

Maybe the title reminds you of a song, maybe it doesn’t. I stumbled upon this song by Housefires 2 years ago on YouTube. It stuck with me, especially the chorus. Two weeks or so later I heard it being sung in a church I was visiting and since then, it’s been one of those songs that Lord continues to bring to my mind and it’s a truth I continue to declare over and over again.

You’re a good good Father, It’s who You are, It’s who You are, It’s who You are

And I’m loved by You, It’s who I am, It’s who I am, It’s who I am

As repetitive as it sounds, there’s something powerful about repetition.

I don’t know about you but my journey of understanding the Father’s heart for me hasn’t always been easy. What does it even mean that God is my Father? Why does that even matter? It matters because knowing and fully embracing our identity as His child changes everything. Adoption is truly the highest privilege. He could’ve stopped at saving us from the death we deserved to die, but He didn’t. Instead, He adopted us into His family.

One of the most powerful experiences related to this was back in freshman year of college where I listened to Lee Grady who has become a friend and one of my favorite speakers! He is an author and runs the Mordecai Project which you should totally check out. Anyway, he was speaking of father wounds and how the deficiencies of our earthly fathers can often affect the way we look at God as a Father. I love my father and am so blessed to have a godly man as a father. I will not be who I am today without him. Needless to say, I realized that my view of God as a Father was one who was reserved in His love and affection for me. I still struggled with the need to constantly try to please God and His approval of me was based on what I did for Him. And that if I screwed up, He would be disappointed and every time I fell short, I felt guilty and would constantly apologize to Him in order to be in His ‘good books’ again.

As I was prayed for that night, I wept. I wept because I was overwhelmed with the Father’s love for me. A love that remains, a love that never changes even if I misunderstood it, misunderstood Him. His love for me is based on who He is and not what I do. The pressure was off. I found a new sense of freedom that night and since then, He’s been building on that revelation of Him as my Father. A Father who is so ready to pour out His affection on me, who loved me enough to send His Son to die for me. And I am totally okay with that. Now I walk in freedom to serve not out of fear of punishment but out of a knowledge of His love for me. Even if I fall, He will catch me. I am not afraid to mess up anymore, there is so much grace. This grace compels me to stay close to my Father and I never want to leave.

But if I’m really honest, as much as I know that I’m His child, I don’t always live like I truly believe it. And it’s in those moments, the song gets even louder because I need to believe it. And I’m guessing you’re the same too. And so my prayer is that as you journey on with the Lord, you will continue to discover His heart for you. He is your good Father. If you do not know Him at all, then you should. He loved you so much to include you in His family, but only if you receive it.

Romans 8:15-16 – For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.